· Thanks Giving
Today is Thanksgiving. Let that sink in for a minute. Thanks Giving. What do you have to give thanks for? Probably most of you have read the email about how we here in America have more than 90% of the world when it comes to clean water, a roof over our heads, an auto, food to eat, etc. So why are we always complaining? It’s because we have been used (most of us) to having all of these things from birth. Some of us have had the opportunity to visit countries where this is not the case. Hopefully, this has remained with us. I remember a trip I took many years ago with my BFF to one of those countries. We were out in a small boat fishing, when he asked our fishing guide, who worked for the resort company, “How much would it cost to buy your own boat and set up your own fishing business?” His answer, if I remember correctly, was that it wasn’t much more than a couple hundred dollars or so. (To this day I still wish we could/would have given him that money) I still think of what that may have done for him, his family and maybe generations to come.
How many of my friends and family are blessed? All of them from my view, and I hope they all feel the same. Have we had bumps and bruises along the way? Absolutely! Have we had true joy along the way? I would be hard pressed to say I haven’t had probably, more than my share and again I would hope they would say the same. I can remember laughing to tears with all my friends and most of my family at different times in my life and going through some very sad times. But in the grand scheme of things I have had more good than bad times.
I say this even now, going through what my wife is dealing with, I am thankful. I am thankful, to wake up this morning and look at my wife, sleeping peacefully. I am thankful to watch her as she dresses herself, remembering when she couldn’t even get out of bed by herself. I am thankful that she wants to and is able to cook thanksgiving dinner, (I am helping, a little) moving around without her cane. I remember when she couldn’t get off the couch without me carrying her. I am thankful she is able to do all the things she does even though her feet are almost in constant pain and always numb. I am watching her right now playing hearts on her computer and winning! I remember several times last year when she didn’t know me or her own mother sitting right next to her. I told my cousin’s fiancée yesterday; I have watched as every time it seemed the door was closing, God would open up the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing. I thank Him for that every day, several times a day.
What do I have to be thankful for? Well, first and foremost, I thank God for being my Father, with all the blessings that that brings with it. I am thankful I have all of you, friends and family that pray for us and thank you for that.
So I say this, I am thankful to have my wife with me this day, this Thanksgiving Day, but I have learned for me, every day is a thanks giving day. To all of you Happy Thanksgiving!
Floyd
December 7, 2010 7:15 p.m. EST
I know this is my blog about Pat and her Journey, but I feel the need to say a few words about today’s event.
Today Elizabeth Edwards died from complications of breast cancer. I was tempted to say she “lost her battle with cancer” like most of the news stories are saying. From what little I as an outsider could see, she decided to leave as she lived, on her own terms. With all she has dealt with, the loss of her son, the problems with her marriage, the remission, then the return and spread of her cancer, she lived with dignity and courage, in her own way. Yes she deferred to her husband’s campaign when she first suspected she had cancer and who knows whether that may have played a part in how her cancer advanced. We will never really know but that was her choice. Was it the best choice for her health? We can never really know but we do know she made that choice because that was how she wanted to live her life. So, as we look at this passing, did she lose her battle with cancer? I BEG TO SAY NO. I think she fought the fight, and did the things she needed to do. She stood for her causes, made peace with John knowing that if she did not live to see her children reach maturity they needed to see their father in the way she would want them to see him, not as a failed husband but as a loving father. That is courage and love, for the children if nothing else. Ultimately she decided to stop treatment and be with the people in her life that were most important to her at the end. I don’t see that as losing a battle as much as deciding on what terms you will live the rest of your days here on earth. She said it this way, “The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that.” How true that statement is but how many of us live like we really believe it? I would hope that I could meet that time in my life with the courage and wisdom that she has shown.
The treatment Pat had this week was supposed to have been the last one before having a CT scan done and then taking a “break” from the chemo. We weren’t sure how we felt about that as the last “break” allowed the cancer to start growing again after it had been shrinking from the first round of chemo. Granted, that treatment was doing serious damage as far as Pat’s ability to eat and function. She had lost close to fifty pounds and was having all sorts of other problems. Yes, it (the “break”) was needed; although she is convinced it lasted too long before we started the next round of treatment.
As she was in the infusion room this time, waiting for them to start her treatment, the pharmacist came out and asked her when her CT scan was scheduled and said she had noticed that there weren’t any further treatments scheduled. Pat told her she was supposed to see the oncologist in three weeks and he was to make a decision then as to what we would do at that point. The pharmacist said that since her blood work numbers still looked good, she was going to talk to the Dr. about maybe continuing the treatments until the results come back from the test. I was out of the room when this happened so Pat asked the pharmacist to come back and explain it to me when I returned. It sounded like a good idea to me as long as Pat was tolerating the chemo as well as she was. We had been discussing what we were going to do about her coming to the end of this round of treatment. She was saying that while she was still doing well and feeling strong that she wanted to continue some sort of treatment. She is very strong in her belief that God is in control and I share that with her, although being a man I sometimes feel like I should stick my fingers in there to do something. Not so with Pat. She resisted my suggestion that maybe we should change Doctors and said to wait until we get to the consult after the CT scan. She is right (as she usually is) and I have learned to make suggestions to her and let her make the final decision, to wait on God.
The doctor and the Pharmacist consulted and decided to add: Two more cycles, which is four more treatments, over six more weeks. I asked Pat if that was what she wanted and she said “I told you God would work this out”. “Two, Four, Six” is what He has said and we will stand on that. We are prayerful that this will do what we want it to do and accepting of what God intends it to do.
As we go through this phase, she will need to try to eat certain foods to help keep her hemoglobin levels up as the chemo is causing them to drop, but other than that she is doing really well. (I’m probably opening a can of worms but, any suggestions?) Everyone that sees and talks to her says she looks good and seems to be getting and sounding stronger. That is so encouraging and I for one have been in awe of how she is handling this, with grace and strength. She is still helping others with their crises, because that is who she is. She asked me a few days ago if I thought she could go back to work. (Where did that come from?! As far as that goes I told her she has a job, it is to get well.) She has been moving around the house without her cane, cooking and doing other things. Right now as I am typing this, I hear her in the kitchen banging pots around; it is so inspiring to watch…God is so amazing. I can remember where she was 365 days ago.
So as we come to this Christmas season we wish you all, Peace and God’s Love. We pray for traveling grace and God’s protection for you. We thank you as we always do for your prayers and we send ours for you. To those of you who helped us last year staying with Pat when I was still working, know that your help was immeasurable and I cannot thank you enough. To all of you, try to stop and remember what this season is really about, forgiveness, and thank Him for His Blessings, both seen and unseen. Make an effort to let go of at least one burden you have been holding on to for too long. Believe me, there really is more to life than holding on to grudges and hurt. Letting go leaves more room in your heart for love and happiness and believe me time is short, no matter how long you have. Remember, opening your hand to let go leaves it open to receive God’s gifts. But I bet you already know that.
Merry Christmas,
Floyd
Psalm 91:1-2; The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
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